Bài viết này của học trò mình, và mình sẽ bắt đầu series “Bài Sửa Writing Task 2 ” luôn bằng 1 bài band 5.5. Đề này thuộc dạng Discussion khá dễ, topic của bài cũng không quá khó hiểu và khó tìm ideas (control noise).

Some people think that there should be some strict controls on noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Mình sẽ phân tích đề và lập 1 plan như thế này:

Introduction = stay 2 views + opinion của mình (Mình giả dụ là mình chọn “people can make as much noise as they want to”)

Body 1 = there may be certain reasons why we should strictly manage noise produced

Body 2 = I believe that people should be allowed to make noise

Mọi người xem thử bài viết của học trò trong lớp mình thử nhé. 

In contemporary society, an increasing number of people are concerned about the noise control. While some people think they could generate noise as they want, I do believe that noise should be sufficiently managed.

On one hand, there are some reasons why people could freely make noise as they want. Making noise freely has good outcomes. The scientist have provided that the sound waves trigger the creatively in the brand . For instance, the sound stimulate baby’s brand development. Parents often talk and let their fetus to listen music to improve baby’s intelligence. Secondly, sound helps life more eventful. In fact, life is really boring without sound. If people are unable to express sound they will be unable to have parties or karaoke.

On the other hand, I think noise control is a necessity. Firstly, noise has major influence on human’s health so the restrictions in noise should be made for better human health. For example, exposing to loud and unremitting noise can harm people by causing many illness such as headache and tinnitus. The ears are vulnerable organ so that people should protect and maintain them in healthy states. Secondly, noise impact on human’s life. Construction sites produce loud noise which is cause of distraction of students in studying or employees in task.

In conclusion, I totally agree that noise should be strict control because the bad outcomes of the noise surpass its benefits. Therefore, government should issues some limitation for creating noises.

Bài này examiner chấm 5.5, mình review lại như bên dưới.

Corrected Essay

 

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