Một bài viết band 6.5-7.0 của học trò mình trong lớp 6.0+, bài viết khá ok với lượng từ vựng tốt và phân tích khá chi tiết. 

Many countries use fossil fuels such as coal or oil as the main sources of energy. However, in some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In contemporary society, there is an increasing number of countries that have gradually put their priority to exploit new sources of energy, alternatives to be specific, which are much more sustainable than fossil fuels. While I accept that this development has both benefits and drawbacks, I strongly believe that it would bring more good than harm.

Admittedly, the high cost of initial investment is the weakest point of alternative sources. Although the primary usage of those is to utilize free power from natural elements such as sunlight or wind, the prices to set up facilities are quite expensive. Therefore, not all of citizens have good financial conditions to afford this.

However, despite some disadvantages, I am in the opinion that this tendency marks the first step in the development of human beings because of two main reasons. For one thing, it is the fact that while fossil fuels are non-renewable sources, which will be exhausted one day in near future, alternatives are unlimited. Consequently, those can guarantee for the survival of next generations.

For another, when contamination has been the top concern by almost authorities, the use of alternative sources of energy is considered timely solution to this urgent issue. It is noticeable that whereas dependence on fossil fuels for supplying energy would result in environmental damage, this would be never the case when it comes to other alternative sources. Thus, those reasons why these sources of energy should be dependent for the long-run of humans’ development.

In conclusion, I am convinced that the process to use those potential sources of energy instead of fossil fuels is obviously an important step forward in spite of some obstacles.

(Band 7.0, 277 words)

Corrected Essay

 

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